Our church is so friendly.I've heard this phrase spoken by many different church leaders throughout the years. People will promote the hospitality and friendliness of their congregation and usually offer the same qualifiers: comfortable environment, smiles on faces, coffee and donuts, warm greetings, and if you're really lucky...a free gift.
Is this what it means to be a friendly or hospitable church?
Hospitality literally means "welcoming the stranger," and this is much deeper than coffee and donuts. Often times what normally plays out in churches is there are a few trained individuals who smile, say hello, pass out bulletins, and point the strangers to the coffee. The majority of folks carry on their regular routine of migrating to their clique and only connecting with them. Is the stranger really welcomed? Does the church really practice hospitality?
As we read the New Testament we discover that hospitality is a bedrock practice of the early church.
"Now the overseer (elder) is to be...hospitable" (1 Timothy 3.2)
"Rather he (the elder) is to be hospitable..." (Titus 1.8)
"Share with the Lord's people who are in need. Practice hospitality." (Romans 12.13)
"Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it." (Hebrews 13.2)
"Offer hospitality to one another, without grumbling." (1 Peter 4.9)
Elders, or leaders, in the church are to be hospitable, sharing with those in need is practicing hospitality, by showing hospitality to strangers we may in fact be entertaining angels, and not only are we to offer hospitality to one another...but we can't even grumble/complain about it!
One gets the sense from reading the New Testament that Biblical hospitality is about far more than donuts and coffee (though that's an important starting point). Biblical hospitality is about moving people from strangers to friends. This is where many churches miss it. There are countless churches where people are "friendly," but far less where people consistently become friends. The reason is that developing friendships takes time, it takes work, it takes emotional investment. Being friendly takes 15 minutes before and after a service.
Is your church/community hospitable? Is it friendly? Here are two questions to help you in your assessment: how many other members' homes have you been in? How many people in the church have been in your home (or how many have you invited out for coffee)? In his book Right Here Right Now Lance Ford challenges readers to ask these questions and then offers this commentary:
"Forget about extensive churchwide surveys. Whether you are a staff member or church member, the answers to those two questions are all the empirical data you need to know regarding the practice of hospitality in your church community. The contemporary church as a whole has neglected biblical hospitality." p.206
Hospitality is less about coffee and donuts at church on Sunday and more about coffee and dessert in your home on a weeknight. We live in a lonely culture and people are starving for real and genuine friendships. I hope our churches can recapture the art of practicing biblical hospitality, that we can truly welcome the strangers, and be one of the few environments where authentic friendships still exist. So at church this Sunday offer someone new a cup of coffee, but go beyond that and offer them an invitation to lunch as well.
You never know, you may be inviting an angel out to lunch!
